3 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Singing (That Could Change the Way You See Your Voice)

Have you ever said to yourself, “I can’t sing” or “Voice lessons aren’t for someone like me”? You’re not alone. As a vocal coach, there are 3 things I wish everyone knew about singing that could completely change how people relate to their voices. Singing isn’t reserved for the chosen few, and it has the power to bring joy, confidence, and connection into your life.

So buckle up as we unpack why everyone can sing (it’s true!), why you don’t need to be a “serious” singer to take voice lessons, and how singing is always about so much more than singing.

1. Everyone Can Sing (Yes, Even You!)

Let’s get this out in the open, shall we? Everyone can sing – yes, even you.

This is the number one thing I wish everyone knew about singing because I think it opens up an entirely new perspective and self-perception.

Like reading and math, singing is a learned skill. Everyone can learn the coordinations necessary to use their voice in the ways that they want. 

You may be ready to fight me on this, assuring me that you’re tone deaf or that the sound of your voice is ugly. But I will die on the hill of Everyone Can Sing, if only for the simple fact that singing is a learned skill, and I’ve watched, again and again over 15+ years of teaching, as people of all ages, musical interests, and skill levels learn to sing expressively and confidently. 

It’s a far cry from the myth of “talent,” isn’t it? The myth of talent suggests that you either have it or you don’t. You’re able to sing or you’re not. You’re tone deaf or you have a beautiful voice. Your voice is good or it’s bad.

“I can’t sing” might be the most pervasive singing myth that I’ve witnessed, particularly among adults. For a number of reasons, people carry serious doubts over their abilities to sing, and I believe that this is the number one barrier coming between a person and their lifelong love of singing.

Here’s the truth of the matter:

Singing is a learned motor skill, which means that it requires both a degree of intellectual understanding/intention, and – even more importantly – the EXPERIENCE of doing it. The muscle coordinations. The brain-body connections. The breath flow. The vibrations. The felt experience of it. 

You can’t learn to sing by reading about it in a book. You must sing in order to learn to sing.

When someone is told to stop singing (usually pretty early on in life) because they sound “bad,” they stop practicing the coordinations needed to sing. Their musical tastes and sensibilities may advance, but their skills are left behind, which later reinforces their belief that they can’t sing.

(And this doesn’t even touch on the shame they’ll likely experience around their voice, too!)

Imagine a young child first learning how to talk. They babble, they coo, they make sounds that vaguely resemble speech, they might even mispronounce sounds and words as they get a little older. They certainly don’t sound like fluent speakers! But would you ever tell that baby to stop talking because they sound ridiculous? Of course not!

When kids sing out of tune, it's akin to babies babbling pre-speech. If we don’t allow them to continue to learn through experience, they’ll never learn. Or they’ll learn in a partially coordinated or maladaptive way that has an audible and emotional impact throughout their lives.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Well, I’m tone deaf, so this doesn’t apply to me,” I have great news! In order to be officially diagnosed with tone deafness (or amusia), you must undergo a series of tests and then be diagnosed by a doctor. Only around 1.5% of the population is actually tone deaf.

Fellow vocal coach Sarah Algoet has a wonderful blog post about this topic!

So while some people may have a more natural affinity for singing, we can rest easy in the fact that singing is ultimately a learned skill, and talent is a myth of fixed mindset. Which means that yes, even you can sing!

What would you do if you truly believed you could learn how to sing?

2. You Don’t Need to be a “Serious” Singer to Take Voice Lessons

Now that we know everyone can sing, here's the second thing I wish everyone knew: you do not need to be on a professional track in order to take voice lessons. Having professional aspirations is not the only valid reason to sing!

There are DOZENS of reasons why someone might choose to invest their time, energy, and financial resources in voice lessons:

• To learn the language of music

• To develop new and specific skills

• To try out different styles of singing

• To grow self-awareness & resilience

• To build confidence in expressing yourself

• To offer yourself an outlet for creative expression

• To cultivate self-compassion at all stages of your life

• To understand why & how your voice behaves in certain ways

• To receive feedback on your voice from a trusted source

• To receive support after illness or injury

• To develop stress management skills

• To practice emotional intelligence

• To work out your desired goals

• To practice growth mindset

• To cultivate presence

Similar to how someone might have a yoga practice or a meditation practice, you can also have a singing practice. Like yoga and meditation, singing improves our health and well-being; increases our focus, attention span, and body awareness; and cultivates self-compassion and presence so that we can show up more fully and intentionally in our lives.

I’d argue that this is reason enough to sing!

Taking voice lessons is a relational experience, which means it’s easier to build awareness and skills – to move steadily in the direction we want to go – with the support of a teacher or coach. 

In 15+ years of teaching, I’ve seen how embarrassed people can be over their voices and their song choices (particularly adults). People seem to have an apology baked into their desire to use their voice.

Singing is a beautiful medium for surpassing our own self-imposed limitations. Through singing, we not only learn that we can do things we never thought we’d be able to do, but we can also have fun and create meaning while doing it.

So let’s challenge the idea that the only reason to learn to sing is to become a professional singer. That’s some old-school thinking right there!

3. Singing Is About So Much More Than Singing

At this point, you probably see where I’m going with this entire post – and that has been to lead you directly to the third thing I wish everyone knew about singing:

Singing is about so much more than singing.

It bears repeating that singing is a beautiful medium for surpassing our own self-imposed limitations. Singing offers a way to meet challenges with curiosity, creativity, and compassion, no matter what your skill level.

Beyond building specific vocal skills, which may be reward enough, singing is about:

• Increasing confidence

• Growing problem-solving skills

• Building self-awareness & empathy

• Reconnecting with a core part of yourself

• Developing stress management strategies

• Strengthening muscles of creativity & courage

• Challenging yourself via creative self-expression

• Building resilience by living on the edge of desirable difficulty

• Deepening our connection with ourselves, our creative voices & our communities

• Treating yourself honestly & compassionately, when things go well & when they go poorly

• Developing respect for cultures, languages, traditions & perspectives that differ from your own

• Practicing growth mindset

• Cultivating presence

• Healing

Our approach to singing directly reveals how we treat ourselves and how we show up for ourselves and others in life. Singing can feel vulnerable, joyous, frustrating, rewarding – in essence, it’s a metaphor for life itself.

You Deserve To Sing

If it wasn’t clear at this point, let me say it directly: everyone can sing, and you have permission to sing, no matter how you think your voice sounds. Whether that’s in the shower, the car, with a chorus, on stage, or in the Zoom room, your voice deserves to be heard! 

Singing is one way our inner world becomes external. I truly believe that if more people sang, the world would be a more courageous, compassionate, and creative place.

If you’ve ever wondered what your voice might sound like with a little guidance, I’d love to help you explore it. I help adults and teens reconnect with their voices through compassionate, whole-body voice coaching. 

You don’t have to wait until you feel “good enough.” Remember, singing is a learned skill.

Ready to learn what singing could open up for you? Email susan@susandaviesvoice.com or book a FREE Discovery Call to chat with me at www.susandaviesvoice.com/booking